I attended an event this weekend, and when the word got out to the group that I was a Gambler… the stories began. Everyone seems to have a funny story about their Gambling adventures, and this one really cracked me up…

Robert was often found at the local Greyhound Track. He admits that he was a regular there. I too found the attraction unavoidable. If you’re a good speed handicapper, Dog Racing is your gamble of choice. In Dog Racing, NOTHING beats pure speed. Robert liked the dogs because he’d observed a Jockey pulling back (obviously with ALL his might) on his mount at the local Horse Racing Track. It seems the horse was in front by two full lengths when the Jockey applied the brakes. “Dogs don’t carry those Damn Jockeys” said Robert.

But I digress… Robert’s story goes like this:

He awoke one morning with the sound of his phone screaming in his ear. He was in no condition to answer the phone, let alone carry on a coherent conversation. The ringing wouldn’t stop, so he painfully attacked the receiver.

It was a call from his bank!

“Robert”? “Yeah” he struggled… “This is xxxxx from the bank”

“Yeah?”

“Robert, did you go to the Dog Races yesterday”? his banker asked. “Yeah”.

“Were you drinking, Robert”? “Yeah” mumbled Robert. But he was about to come to full attention…

“We thought so Robert, when we opened the Bank this morning, we found a lot of hundred dollar bills inside the front door…”

Fully aware and very interested, Robert asked: “How much did I win”?

Laughing, the bank executive said “You did pretty well, Robert, are you able to come in this morning”? “Yes”, said Robert.

“Good”, said the Exec, “while you’re here, we’ll teach you the difference between the night deposit receptacle and the front door’s mail slot”!

At least he wasn’t too drunk to forget to throw in a deposit slip with his cash… even though it was unintelligible except for a scribbled “Robert” He just used the wrong slot!